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Been talking to my therapist and she brings up my trans stuff. Most of the time I keep it out of my head because I am so busy with work and soon school.
But she asks me "what happened". and to be honest i dont really know.
It seems I tapped my gender pain pool again. I thought i was over it. I gained muscle, which before I was practically starving myself and restricted myself to just running. and for a while I didnt bother me my shoulders are getting wider.
But looking at my pictures off my beautiful youthful self I look happy. Happier than i ever look in familiy photos or with friends.
I am thinking about HRT again but i think its a perilous road. I dont want to be swinging between male or female anymore. I want to be mostly one and pursue other things in life
I hope you can find peace in your quest.
You're asian, you have an innate +10 to Androgyny, you'll probably be fine transitioning.
what do you consider yourself now?
I will tell you I wasn't too sure about hormones at first either, but it got to the point that i was cripplingly depressed. After being on Estrogen and a Testosterone blocker for almost 3 months, I can assure you that I feel so much better. I'm happier, I'm more comfortable, and I feel like myself again. I'm on the pills, and i would recommend them highly. The injections are needlessly dangerous, and the pills work just as well. I hope you can ease your dysphoria, I know how much it hurts you mentally.
Hello everyone one its Rina.Ive been gone since my compy broke. Lots has happened. Very emotional. I was very close to go on the mones. But after much hair pulling, sobbing, and long shower; I decided not to go on mones.
My boday is progressing like a man. Lol but its the same issues I and other traps/cders/ have. Meaning tiny hips, broad shoulders, and sometimes facial hair. (Since I am asian it barely grows. Only on my chin and upper lip.)
So when I do dress up its kinda obvious. OH the days I could just walk outside in drag and if I didnt open my mouth no one would know.
So Im not really a trap anymore. I didnt think I was one before either. Traps are so rare they come one in a million and the epic ones had surgery or go on the mones early. I had neither. But i dont give a shittt.
So no boobies D;
however I will cross dress still and show you what I mean. I gained a lil wait and from working put a lil muscle on. My face is the same tho!!! lol
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welcome back, you still look amazingly cute. i hope you post more CDing pics, though regular pics are fine too.
I thought of going to MG. but meh. still a CDer at heart.
Still the same adorable Rina I know <3it
People keep dissin my skinny jeans!!!! Its so annoying... They are like "doesnt that feel uncomfortable?" "if you wear those your sperm will die" or shit like that...
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Oh haha.I forget about sites like this sometimesMy memory is shot[probably why I don't think I dream. inb4everyone dreams]
>>208 not really... I was saying people that weigh like over 140 lbs...
I completely agree for the most part, but boot cuts can work really well as long as the thighs are pretty form fitting, IMO.
just my two cents on the matter :3
I think that skinny jeans are too 80s and they just look disgusting as our nation grows fatter. Under 150 lbs. for men is okay, and maybe like 130~ for women, anything over that and you'll be muffin-topping.
this is me ;3; hope you likes
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Luscious, thank you Rina. You're a real woman; I'm so tired of stupid models.
You are so gorgeous I dream about you. I will never look at another painted blonde again.
Don't be worried about accepting yourself, just do it. You're fine. Obviously a lot of other people like you too :)
post links, blog, something other than pix?
If you feel desperation or fear, or an emotional collapse, use gmail to contact demopoly. You can write for any reason, but especially if you need help, because I know some of what you go through.
//brother, sister, friends, and ex's who've been through various gender and sexuality hells.
>>3 Holy shit I am young here. Back then I was so thin, I could be snapped like a twig.
>>318Thanks you for your support!!! I would start a blog but I am so bad at remembering to post it never works out. Ill probably try every day to post something about my boring life.
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That is a chance i'm willing to take.
Need moar stat!
Unfortunately, this is no longer applicable. I am currently 19 lol
You might not want but just in case you are curious.
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>>297MUCH better lighting.
>>297omg ily in a strictly platnoic way
Girl Rina is better. As long as you keep being Girl Rina every once in awhile I'll still live you.
Shota Cat approved! lol
pic not related... too much
I have neglected my fellow netizens and haven't cammed in forever....So once my computer is fixed.... (i got a nasty blue screen issue, i forgot the error but troubleshot my ram chips, tried to system restore blehhhhh...... nothin working. thats what i get for buying a Dell, wait i didnt buy it my ignorant parents did... GRRRR... I HATE WESTERN DIGITAL AND ALMOST EVERYTHING IN THERE IS WD FUUUUUUUUCK)..... sorry for the outburst there.... anywhooo.. Also I really like the TG/CD community on youtube soo ill probably be posting more vids there.... and ill talk.... lol... my voice will probably be a turn off but i dont wanna be a mickey mouse. anyways... pics and vids... also I may be going to Otakon. soo more on that in a bit.. I wonder how many people check this page anymore? huhu?
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You ignored my last email. Ouch.
Sorry about your computer problems, I recently just recovered from a motherboard failure on my computer, which sucked because it occured right when I started my first online class. MEGAFAIL
Im really lost right now. with everything.,... Ive been struggling with depression for like forever... and yeah im really considering HRT. Ima talk to my therapist but.... im 17... i wish i could have started earlier... also I have a desire to sing classically and i think a tranny male baritone is going to be super taboo...... iunno give me some feedback peoples...pic not related obviously... I have noticed my typing degenerates with my emotions....
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>>279Wow. I always assumed Rina was 20-something. Silly me.
All the best with therapies. No need to get too depressed or rush into anything like HRT - you have an abundance of gifts including adorableness as a boy or girl & smarts too. Doors and hearts will open for you wherever you go.
Hmmm. I'm inclined to say go for the HRT. You're still young, you didn't "start too late", and you will look beautiful after a little bit on them.
Really, you are the perfect age to start them. Go for it, imo.
noona its me xD your fan the one that sent you a youtube message saying noona ippo. idk if you remember XD but!!! it maybe as simple as just doing what you feel like. hmm?
You're young. Keep your chin up, you're going to be fine. I wish you all the best for getting onto HRT
I went to the movie believing Cloverfield would look like this. no... the movie is fail.They should recreate the movie with this monster. Start over.
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Personally, I'm more focused on the parasites, which look like giant crablice.
Is that Sin from the Final Fantasy series? X I think.
better watch Night at the Museum 2,it may be a Disney but Octopus is awesome!!
Ben Stiller is not trying too hard in this one,Robin Wiilliams is fine as usual.
Love the Amelia chick!http://www.grafixsdepot.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/banner01.jpg
We called it Sin.
rest in peace m jackerson
i dont know if anyone was aware of my fandom but his death is too painful.
Sorry to hear that. He was one of the geniuses, regardless of his eccentricities, perceived or real.
I was forced to do this... Thanks Awer
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Haha! The Pyro is just great.
>>218 this is sexist
i guess? not to much.... maybe the spy....
Agenaweerina's Reacreational Youtube Viewing:
Channel should rename themselves to PeopleWithToMuchTime.com: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmvo9vpIb7E
i think this is pretty cool actually. if you think they have too much time on their hands you should see how i spend my weekends.
Rina WoWfag is WowFagBasically im just putting everything i am interested and love on this board. So i am currently playing WoW XDIm a priesty with a nub holy spec or (watever lol)anyways i love the Draenei. I am a foolish Horde sympathizer ... I want everyone to get along etc T___T
anways way off again.... I found this pic cough somewhere and its albino like my char. so i made my tooon look like this too.shes so purty ;o;
PS: i dont have a monster fetish....
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What about an elephant? You said you got pretty lonely while questing...
Apparently she sleeps with those...
What a clever disguise... I dont see how I can turn into that guy (in pic) but i cant make a tree grow, to hide behind..
I take the term WoWFag literally. Besides being a collector in WoW, I collect specimens of large Butt cracks... umm... yeah..
Here is my first
Another fine example
My latest addition.
DO WANT!!!! PLEASE TOKYO POP TAKE MY MONIES!!!
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I have yet to buy this.... but i am assuming that is a pillow case and I do want.
I still havent seen this in Borders yet... ;o; I pretty aware the stock in Borders Comic boojk area.... Maybe I should check the release date again..
You shall be consumed
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Gah if only I had the skill to make that..
>>228same D;My painting will never reach that level XD
My roomate told me if you're good enough, you can buy a Hierophant, paint it and resell it on ebay for nearly double, but that's quite a gamble.
>>230 Never in my lifetime D;
Once upon a time, long ago there was a King. He had a beautiful kingdom and was very happy. He was a generous king, and he was praised for his compassion. No one loved him however, as much as one of his servants. The servant had seen his generosity, and pure integrity. Yet one day a woman arrived at the gates. She was very fair, with long dark hair, and deep piercing eyes. Her unrivaled beauty struck the King, and he asked for her hand in marriage and she agreed. Not long after their joyous wedding, the King took ill. He became so weak that he could not even leave his bed. His Queen told him that she knew of a cure to the disease that ailed him, but she would require all the gold in his Kingdom for the supplies were rare and expensive. Without hesitation, he gathered his riches and entrusted them to his Queen. She left on her quest but never returned. The Servant knew that their king had been swindled. The servant attempted to tell the King, but could not bring himself to believe the Servant. The Servant confessed his undying love and servitude, and swore that he was telling the truth. The King denied the Servant and banished the Servant from his Kingdom. The Servant determined to save the King searched for a cure. The Servant found it in a far land where the fair and dark dwelled. Still the King refused the Servant audience. The Servant heartbroken settled in a nearby kingdom to heal. The King refused to leave and slowly withered away. His kingdom without government fell. His people left and his castle crumbled around. Curiously, the King did not die but was tortured by foolishness and guilt. He dwelled in the overgrown forest that grew from the remains of his kingdom. And there he stays.
it is orig. I wrote it with fables in mind
Oh, neat! I really like it. You've got the style down so well that I thought it was actually a traditional tail. ^^;
>>189 thanks!!! I hope so cuz i read a lot of the stuff XDD
MAMA WE'RE AL GONNNA DIIIE!!!
i am the premier l4d griefer