I met Cidra two weeks ago, on Lag Ba'Omer, at the park. She was out with her sisters and brothers, celebrating the 33rd day of the counting of the Omer. She admitted later that this meant as little to her as it did to me. Cidra comes from a devout family of Jews and doesn't actually practice herself. She still considers herself Jewish and goes to temple occasionally, but only celebrates a holiday or participates in some sort of tradition when it's a social obligation. Although, when the high holidays roll around, I have a feeling she'll observe them regardless of who's watching.
When we met, I was sketching in the park, pathetically attempting to recreate a facsimile of Cosette's beauty on paper. Cidra had apparently been standing over my shoulder for several minutes before she commented on how much the girl in my drawing looked like Anne Frank. Cosette had always fancied herself a bit of an old-fashioned girl, so whenever I drew or painted her I tried to make her look like she was from another era. I suppose it's safe to say that I succeeded in that regard.
Embarrassed, I put my sketch book away and stood up to get better look at my extemporaneous art critic. She was standing before me dressed in black from head to toe, grinning, with her hands on her hips. It wasn't love at first sight but I did very much want to lean in and kiss her on the lips without so much as knowing her name. I didn't, of course, and instead I offered her my hand and introduced myself to her.
In much the same way that my break-up with Cosette was completely commonplace, Cidra and I ended up together in an entirely ordinary way; she gave mer her phone number, I went home and then waited two days before calling her and asking her out. It was memorial day. Cidra and I wanted to see a movie but realized before too long that we were both too cheap to pony up the cash. We ended up going to my house and watching The Dead Poets Society instead.
Eventually we started talking and I ended up telling her all about Cosette. She was able to see everything in Cosette that I had loved about her and seemed to almost feel honored to be in the presence of someone who'd been so close to such an amazing girl. I think that, more than anything else, Cidra was flattered that I'd be interested in her after being involved with someone she found so impressive. We decided that night to become a couple.
Cidra is so special. I feel silly pouring heaps of praise onto one girl and then moving on and doing the same to another, but I'm not suggesting that I think Cosette is nothing and Cidra is everything now. No, they're both amazing. Cidra is a great foil to the person Cosette is. Cidra is warm, caring and more compassionate than Cosette had ever been. Cidra is entirely selfless and seems to care very little about how others perceive her, in a way that is wholly genuine and not at all pretentious. She's spiritual but not preachy, wise but not introverted and beautiful without being vain.
I do love her very much, even though I still love Cosette. What I appreciate about Cidra so much is that she understands why I love Cosette still and isn't at all threatened by it. I think that, if Cidra believed Cosette would have her, she would want to be with the girl I had once loved so deeply.
After being with Cidra for about a week and seeing her every day for the better part of each day, she confessed her love to me. Of course, we hugged and smiled and gazed a each other for a while after she said the actual words but I didn't respond right away. I told her how happy I was and how thrilled I was to have met and to know such a wonderful person. I couldn't, however, bring myself to tell her that I loved her. She seemed dejected at first, but understanding still. The next day, she was aloof and in no hurry to see me. We were certainly still close, but I could tell that I'd hurt her feelings by not responding how she had expected me to.
A few days passed and we weren't talking on the phone or texting each other that frequently and she seemed so distant, almost exactly like Cosette had been during the last few weeks we were together. I worked up the courage eventually to call Cidra and apologize and she was completely shocked by my concern. She assured me that nothing between us had changed and that she wasn't at all hurt by the way I responded that day. I was relieved, of course, until she told me she'd be going away for a while.
